All posts by Olajide Oluwafemi

NO ONE CAN STOP RONALDO FROM WINNING THE BALLON D’OR AGAIN THIS YEAR

The Portuguese forward has eight goals in his last three Champions League games and will be the big favourite for the individual award once more.

Cristiano Ronaldo is back doing what he does best. The Real Madrid attacker has found a rich vein of scoring form when it matters most and his eight goals in the last three games have left Los Blancos on the verge of another Champions League final. And whether or not they win in Cardiff, another Ballon d’Or is likely to follow.

Just recently, the Portuguese was on his longest drought in the continental competition, having failed to convert in over 600 minutes in Europe. But that streak came to an end with his double at the Allianz Arena in the quarter-final first leg – and he has not looked back since.

A hat-trick followed in the sides’ second match at the Santiago Bernabeu as Madrid prevailed in extra time against Bayern Munich, before another treble in the semi-final meeting with Atletico last Tuesday. Eight goals in three matches and the drought is a distant memory now.

Rested by coach Zinedine Zidane more than usual in the current campaign in order to keep him fresh for the biggest tests, Ronaldo is some way behind Lionel Messi’s 51 goals in all competitions this term. But with Madrid favourites to win La Liga and also the Champions League, Cristiano could end the season with both of the major trophies in his possession.

Messi and Barca will be expected to win the Copa del Rey later in May against Alaves, while the Catalan club remain in contention for La Liga as well. However, Madrid are on the same points as Barca and still have a game in hand over their Clasico rival.

Even if Luis Enrique’s men can claim another domestic double (as they did in 2015-16), it is unlikely to be enough for Messi to win the Ballon d’Or – because voters seem to place more emphasis on the Champions League these days.

Ronaldo won it last season and also added another continental crown as Portugal claimed the European Championship. This summer, however, there is no major international tournament and the Confederations Cup is unlikely to have too much sway when it comes to the Ballon d’Or.

And although the individual award has turned into something of a popularity contest between Messi and Ronaldo in recent years, major competition for the Portuguese for the golden ball could come from a different source this time around.

Juventus sealed their place in the Champions League final with victory over Monaco on Tuesday night and the Itallian side are still on course for a treble of Serie A, Coppa Italia and European Cup crowns.

If the Bianconeri can beat Madrid (who should seal their place in Cardiff on Wednesday against Atletico) in the final, Gianluigi Buffon could be in contention for the Ballon d’Or (which cut its ties with FIFA last year and is now the property of magazine France Football) and perhaps even Dani Alves as well.

However, it is extremely difficult for goalkeepers and defenders to win the prestigious prize and even the French magazine posted a piece on Tuesday entitled “Who can beat Ronaldo to the Ballon d’Or 2017?”

The answer is probably no one. Because the Portuguese looks odds-on to claim the award for a fifth time to draw level with Messi in December. Only a catastrophe can stop him now.

Goal.com

How Cristiano Ronaldo defies the myths behind his legend

Cristiano Ronaldo has done it again. Despite going unnoticed during the first months of the season, Real Madrid‘s number seven scored a stunning and crucial hat-trick against Atlético Madrid during the first leg of the Champions League semi-finals; his second on the trot in the knockout stage.

After Ronaldo became the first player to achieve this feat the reactions to his display were not far behind. Former teammates Álvaro Arbeloa and José María Gutierrez “Guti” were the fastest on Twitter. “Cristiano Ronaldo Ballon D’or” posted the retired Spaniard whereas the current West Ham United defender was even more emphatic. “Surrender to the best player in the world: Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro.”

It is curious how the Portugal international is always under suspicion when it comes to the subject of being considered the best player in the world even though his career is simply unbelievable. IBTimes UK points out five false mantras regarding the Madeira maestro.

‘He just scores goals’

Many of Ronaldo’s critics accept that he is one of the best players when it comes to scoring goals, while they insinuate that outside the box, he is incapable of dribbling or assisting a teammate very often. Even though figures prove his critics wrong – he tops the assists ranking this season in the Champions League with five – why should we ask the most lethal forward of the last decade, alongside Lionel Messi – to be the best in every aspect of the game?

In fact, goals are what in the end turn a defeat into a victory, a good tournament into a trophy. And, anyway, is there any football player who is brilliant in every aspect of the game? Messi, for instance, is a magician; one of the greatest of history and obviously he lacks some of Cristiano’s virtues, such as strength, aerial power or even regularity. Does anyone highlight Michael Jordan’s accuracy in scoring three-pointers or Roger Federer’s clay court record when they are constantly pointed out as the best of history? It would not make sense.

‘He just scores against low-profile teams’

Ronaldo has scored eight goals in his last three Champions League games. He has netted more goals in the Champions League’s semi-finals than any other with 13, two more than Alfredo Di Stéfano. On Real’s final appearances in the competition in 2014 and 2016, Ronaldo was on the scoresheet on both occasions. In addition, Los Blancos’ number seven is the first player in history to score 10 or more goals in the Champions League for six successive seasons.

‘He just makes a difference in club competitions’

For a long time, critics pointed out that Cristiano’s performances worsened when he played with Portugal. But again, this is a false mantra, taking into account that Portugal had lost to eventual winners Spain at the 2010 World Cup and 2012 European Championships, the latter coming on penalties.

Ronaldo ended any perception he underperforms on the biggest international stage as he won Euro 2016 just weeks after winning the Champions League for a second time with Real. The Madeira star won almost every trophy during his Manchester United career, whereas Messi has not been able to achieve success with Argentina or indeed outside of Barcelona.

‘Do not call him Cristiano. Call him ‘Penaldo’

In attempting to downgrade his statistics, Ronaldo is occasionally nicknamed “Penaldo”, noting that he scores many goals from the spot. He has netted 400 goals in 389 games with the club run by Florentino Pérez, and just 73 have come from the penalty spot (18.25%). While mainstream debate centres around “Messi or Cristiano”, here is some advice to neutral fans: Simply enjoy both and one day you will be able to, proudly, tell your sons and daughters that we were lucky to watch two of the biggest legends in world football.

Source: IBTimes UK

TRUE PROSPERITY COMES FROM KNOWING WHO YOU ARE

This is a guest writer post

Whether you acknowledge it or not, everything you do in life is determined by your beliefs. The way you see life is predicated on the silent scripts that are running in your mind. For instance, if you are always thinking that life is tough, it is because that is the way life has been presented to you. Continue reading TRUE PROSPERITY COMES FROM KNOWING WHO YOU ARE

Politics as a tool for both destruction and re-building

Politicis is known as an activity associated or related with the running of government or an organization. Wikipedia defines it as the process of making decisions applying to all members of each group. More narrowly, it refers to achieving and exercising positions of governance — organized control over a human community, particularly a state. Continue reading Politics as a tool for both destruction and re-building

Religion as a destructive tool in the society

This is a guest writer post. Insightful.

 

Religion is uniquely armored against anything that might stop it from spinning into extreme absurdity.

So what is it about religion that is so harmful? I could make a long case about its destructive elements of plenty institutions, education, medicine.
Why is religion special and troubling?
What makes it different from any other ideology system of morality, community. Continue reading Religion as a destructive tool in the society

Can you detach yourself from your past mistakes and move on?

A young man my age recounted his ordeal. “I made some terrible mistakes in the past that I wish I never made them. I look back in time and I hate myself for some of the mistakes. I cannot even let people know some of it.” He lamented. Continue reading Can you detach yourself from your past mistakes and move on?

Four cardinal ways to achieve one’s goal

A goal is a result or a set objective that one is attempting to achieve. It is something all of us have decided to set for ourselves to achieve. The goal of a football match is to win the match for the attainment of a trophy or a glory. To most of us, the goal we set is not the end in itself but a means to an end. Continue reading Four cardinal ways to achieve one’s goal

Four ingredients of a fulfilled life

The purposes of life are many but they can be summed up in a phrase; a fulfilled life.

No one should live this life without leaving a mark behind for posterity to benefit from, we should not live our life like a snake on the rock that leaves no mark behind. It just passes by and whoever passes the same route wouldn’t have known that a snake just plied the route. The same thing the way we must live our life. Continue reading Four ingredients of a fulfilled life

Indecision: a key element to a thwarted future

Indecision is the opposite of decision. And indecision is a decision. When one decided to be indecisive in making up his or her mind on a particular matter, it is a decision. It means the person has decided to be indecisive. There is no such thing as indecision in the real sense of it but for the sake of highlighting its danger, I’ve given it a life in order to strip it of the very life. Continue reading Indecision: a key element to a thwarted future

The culture of savings

Saving is something, usually money that is being set aside for a future purpose. The future is the time many people plan to retire and are already making plans not to be financially stranded then. And one of the ways known to many people to make plans for the future is saving. It is a tradition that we all need to adopt to avoid financial embarrassment. Continue reading The culture of savings

Professor Pius Adesanmi lends his voice to 2face’s planned protest

President Buhari’s administration, its supporters and well-wishers, do not want Tu Baba to have his say in a democracy. They do not want him to organise a protest against the direction of Nigeria under President Buhari’s supervision. Continue reading Professor Pius Adesanmi lends his voice to 2face’s planned protest

Inaugural address: Trump’s full speech

Chief Justice Roberts, President Carter, President Clinton, President Bush, President Obama, fellow Americans, and people of the world: Thank you.
We, the citizens of America, are now joined in a great national effort to rebuild our country and to restore its promise for all of our people.
Together, we will determine the course of America and the world for years to come.
We will face challenges. We will confront hardships. But we will get the job done.
Every four years, we gather on these steps to carry out the orderly and peaceful transfer of power, and we are grateful to President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama for their gracious aid throughout this transition. They have been magnificent.
Today’s ceremony, however, has very special meaning. Because today we are not merely transferring power from one administration to another, or from one party to another — but we are transferring power from Washington, D.C. and giving it back to you, the American People.
For too long, a small group in our nation’s Capital has reaped the rewards of government while the people have borne the cost. Washington flourished — but the people did not share in its wealth. Politicians prospered — but the jobs left, and the factories closed.
The establishment protected itself, but not the citizens of our country. Their victories have not been your victories; their triumphs have not been your triumphs; and while they celebrated in our nation’s capital, there was little to celebrate for struggling families all across our land.
That all changes — starting right here, and right now, because this moment is your moment: it belongs to you.
It belongs to everyone gathered here today and everyone watching all across America. This is your day. This is your celebration. And this, the United States of America, is your country.
What truly matters is not which party controls our government, but whether our government is controlled by the people. January 20th 2017, will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again. The forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer.
Everyone is listening to you now.
You came by the tens of millions to become part of a historic movement the likes of which the world has never seen before. At the center of this movement is a crucial conviction: that a nation exists to serve its citizens.
Americans want great schools for their children, safe neighborhoods for their families, and good jobs for themselves. These are the just and reasonable demands of a righteous public.
But for too many of our citizens, a different reality exists: Mothers and children trapped in poverty in our inner cities; rusted-out factories scattered like tombstones across the landscape of our nation; an education system flush with cash, but which leaves our young and beautiful students deprived of knowledge; and the crime and gangs and drugs that have stolen too many lives and robbed our country of so much unrealized potential.
This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.
We are one nation — and their pain is our pain. Their dreams are our dreams; and their success will be our success. We share one heart, one home, and one glorious destiny.
The oath of office I take today is an oath of allegiance to all Americans.
For many decades, we’ve enriched foreign industry at the expense of American industry; subsidized the armies of other countries while allowing for the very sad depletion of our military; we’ve defended other nation’s borders while refusing to defend our own; and spent trillions of dollars overseas while America’s infrastructure has fallen into disrepair and decay.
We’ve made other countries rich while the wealth, strength, and confidence of our country has disappeared over the horizon.
One by one, the factories shuttered and left our shores, with not even a thought about the millions upon millions of American workers left behind.
The wealth of our middle class has been ripped from their homes and then redistributed across the entire world.
But that is the past. And now we are looking only to the future. We assembled here today are issuing a new decree to be heard in every city, in every foreign capital, and in every hall of power.
From this day forward, a new vision will govern our land.
From this moment on, it’s going to be America First.
Every decision on trade, on taxes, on immigration, on foreign affairs, will be made to benefit American workers and American families. We must protect our borders from the ravages of other countries making our products, stealing our companies, and destroying our jobs. Protection will lead to great prosperity and strength.
I will fight for you with every breath in my body — and I will never, ever let you down.
America will start winning again, winning like never before.
We will bring back our jobs. We will bring back our borders. We will bring back our wealth. And we will bring back our dreams.
We will build new roads, and highways, and bridges, and airports, and tunnels, and railways all across our wonderful nation.
We will get our people off of welfare and back to work — rebuilding our country with American hands and American labor.
We will follow two simple rules: Buy American and hire American.
We will seek friendship and goodwill with the nations of the world — but we do so with the understanding that it is the right of all nations to put their own interests first.
We do not seek to impose our way of life on anyone, but rather to let it shine as an example for everyone to follow.
We will reinforce old alliances and form new ones — and unite the civilized world against radical Islamic terrorism, which we will eradicate completely from the face of the Earth.
At the bedrock of our politics will be a total allegiance to the United States of America, and through our loyalty to our country, we will rediscover our loyalty to each other.
When you open your heart to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice. The Bible tells us, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity.”
We must speak our minds openly, debate our disagreements honestly, but always pursue solidarity.
When America is united, America is totally unstoppable.
There should be no fear — we are protected, and we will always be protected.
We will be protected by the great men and women of our military and law enforcement and, most importantly, we are protected by God.
Finally, we must think big and dream even bigger.
In America, we understand that a nation is only living as long as it is striving.
We will no longer accept politicians who are all talk and no action — constantly complaining but never doing anything about it.
The time for empty talk is over. Now arrives the hour of action.
Do not let anyone tell you it cannot be done. No challenge can match the heart and fight and spirit of America.
We will not fail. Our country will thrive and prosper again.
We stand at the birth of a new millennium, ready to unlock the mysteries of space, to free the Earth from the miseries of disease, and to harness the energies, industries and technologies of tomorrow.
A new national pride will stir our souls, lift our sights, and heal our divisions.
It is time to remember that old wisdom our soldiers will never forget: that whether we are black or brown or white, we all bleed the same red blood of patriots, we all enjoy the same glorious freedoms, and we all salute the same great American Flag.
And whether a child is born in the urban sprawl of Detroit or the windswept plains of Nebraska, they look up at the same night sky, they fill their heart with the same dreams, and they are infused with the breath of life by the same almighty Creator.
So to all Americans, in every city near and far, small and large, from mountain to mountain, and from ocean to ocean, hear these words:
You will never be ignored again.
Your voice, your hopes, and your dreams will define our American destiny. And your courage and goodness and love will forever guide us along the way.
Together, We will make America strong again.
We will make wealthy again.
We will make America proud again.
We will make America safe again.
And yes, together, we will make America great again. Thank you. God bless you. And God bless America.

Vanity

Committed to mother earth

An unfathomable saga in people’s heart

No one knows what I’m driving at

Nothing seems irrelevant again including your choicest hat

It’s a precis of our sojourn here on earth

A chronicle of our short-lived life

It either leaves an imprint behind

Or a secret beside

It becomes a crossroad of automatic indecision

And a bye-pass of reflexive teleguide

To little details, pay attention

For your mistakes, make corrections

For your sins, adopt confession

To double standard, a quick separation

To our responsibility, appropriation

Nothing lasts longer

Nothing grows stronger

Boxers may grow bigger

Ritualists may grow richer

Junk eaters may grow fatter

And contempt and malice may further linger

Only God’s grace lasts longer and forever.

Crass indifference to people’s plight

Our wealth subjected to capital flight

Atrocious disposition to people’s heart-borne agitation

Enactment of unfavorable and diabolical laws to downplay the people’s psyche

Without a recourse, however swift, to posterity

Except their own prosperity.

But it’s an unknown and disguised invitation to uncoveted adversity.

A cankerworm of animosity has crept into the people’s heart

Wishing the author of their adversity an untold hardship

Their lives have been stripped of their sanctity

And this causes great annoyance

All the people need is an assurance

Not a fake insurance

But the display of supercilious affectation of superiority

And their condescending disposition as well as mania for fleeting wealth have blinded their foresight

And beclouded their sense of reasoning

A sheer advertisement of incurable monomania – of rapacity has left thousands dejected and despondent

A wave of insecurity is blowing every glimmer of hope away

Seated in the dark recesses of the heart of the privileged few is an unjustified, unjustifiable and unfounded animosity and rivalry with no opposition

They flex their muscles against imaginary opposition

They adopt the instrumentality of wealth

To deprive others of their peace and health

Oh! Alas! Overnight, away it went and melts

It melts and went away to the land of no return

It took a flight to the kingdom of permanence

A mask of shame

A guise of ignominy

A load of comeuppance

A truckload of Waterloo

A wave of untold nemesis

A pang of pain and migraine

Came upon them and took abode with them

Broke their hearts

Scaled over their walls of defense

Invaded their security apparatchik

Rendered their conspiracies useless

Voided inimical deliberations to mankind’s existence

A multiple fold of reaped consequences like these

Who can bear?

And why would they resort to suicidal thoughts?

And why would the thoughts be turned to practicals?

Committed to mother earth

And the people shouted for joy

And their kinsmen and cronies deserted them.

 

COMPROMISE

We may have had to, during the course of life, compromise.

Like the dwindling fortune of a mouse.

But we don’t further have to compound the vice

By more and seemingly undetected lies

But by resorting to deep-seated and repentant cries.

There are things we do that break our hearts

But definitely not the things we’re adept at.

But the unthinkable practices of the flesh

That are fashioned for self-gratification.

They appear to us devoid of imminent destruction

But the cause depression and repression.

Our flesh also makes its contribution

And our undiscernment also makes its donations.

Anytime we’re found compromising

That causes personal and emotional uprising,

What do we do to avoid further clanger?

Especially a vertical and divine anger

That causes an explosion like a Xmas banger.

Do we continue in it not minding the danger?

Or what practices do we present to a stranger

Who holds us in very high esteem

When we know ourselves that we’re redeemed?

Is compromising a minus or a plus?

Compromise can be projected in two ways.

For a noble cause and a negative purpose.

Compromise is a shift in one’s standard

The negative part is adopted by a bastard.

It’s negative when in one’s life it causes a retard

Like a tasteless and creamless salad.

On the marital pedestal, it’s incumbent on both parties.

The woman and man’s ego must be compromised.

It’s needed to make the marriage work.

At your workplace, you need not be bamboozled to compromise.

WISDOM

Wisdom, they say is the principal thing.

Wisdom, as advised must be acquired at the expense of life luxury.

Wisdom, as publicly touted, cannot be substituted.

Wisdom then must form the basis of mankind’s acquisition.

 

I have seen the same wisdom in scant supply.

I’ve heard of low interest in the acquisition of wisdom.

I’ve witnessed mankind pay lip-service to acquiring wisdom.

Reckless abandon has been the dictator of the pace.

 

Top on the list of man’s to-do list is money.

Money is believed to have the purchasing power for anything

And there’s been huge transaction to get wisdom

Truthfully, wisdom was acquired but not the one that addresses life’s situations.

 

Academic wisdom is one,

It’s one that makes you learned.

It ingratiates one into the caucus of scholars.

It helps with our lexicon to hobnob with foreigners

It also forms the basis to contribute, be it meaningfully or otherwise to subjects on a particular symposium.

But how applicable is such wisdom to addressing man’s various forms of problems and challenges?

 

Another type of wisdom is wisdom by proxy

It’s one that’s transferable, related by other people’s life experiences

It imbues one with fresh motivation to strive on

It provides a limited scope of broad subjects for discussion and dissection.

It’s a microscopic appendage of a comprehensive subject.

 

Sagacity can be a sagacious man’s albatross.

It becomes an albatross when he takes so much solace in his wisdom.

It becomes and graduates into an affront when he relaxes so much in his own wisdom.

That’s when he relates his achievements and successes to his self-acquired sagacity.

Wisdom in his life becomes misappropriated when he misapplies it.

 

Another brand of wisdom is intellectualism.

An intellect believes no man’s problems is beyond empirical improvisation for solution.

He buries his wisdom in any available intellectual property to get solutions.

He’s not concerned about the one that comes from above

And he tries to feign superiority over academicians

He argues there’s a gap between an intellect and an academician

To him, an academician is restricted to his field of specialization

While an intellect has a little knowledge in all subjects of life

As against an academician who has all knowledge in just one subject.

 

Another brand of wisdom is one coined from our experiences

Exposures can come in varying degrees.

It comes raw and it appears embellished

It’s nice, expository, informing in one aspect.

The other can be brutish, nasty, discouraging and eliminates all glitters of hope.

But the two are interdependent in their applications to subsequent life happenstances.

It usefulness comes to bear when a recurring situation surfaces.

 

Wisdom, they say is the principal thing.

Unfortunately, no one has been able to provide a substitute.

An enforce substitute is when man resorts to his own exclusive knowledge

And his exclusive knowledge metamorphoses into foolishness

And foolishness is the bane of development in many African countries

The total or near non-existence of infrastructures in many African countries is a by-product of foolishness

A wise man bubbling with wisdom invariably seeks development

In one word, wisdom has no substitute.

 

An academic wisdom is welcomed

Wisdom by proxy is accommodated

Intellectualism has no problem accepting it

Wisdom that comes by exposure and experience is appreciated

Everything congealed is still limited

If it’s not limited, why do we still grapple with challenges?

Why do we still deal in imperfection?

Why do we still not find solution to economic recession?

Why do we still embroil in an unending war against terrorism?

Why is everyone not influential and opulent?

Why are Professors not the richest in the world if truly our prosperity is a direct function of our academic excellence and certificate acquisition?

Why are economists not able to balance our economy?

Why are accountants not able to provide a fiscal report on a balanced scale?

Why are drop-outs the ones getting things done?

Then, what is the usefulness of this so-called wisdom?

 

 

 

 

 

Confrontation

Confrontation is not equal to expression. In fact, it can cripple one’s expression if it’s not properly channeled and especially when we are not fully prepared for retaliation or the facts we have at hand are baseless. Being too verbose and garrulous can make the object of our confrontation ambiguous and therefore make it lose its main thrust. Lack of full confidence despite having our full facts and other factors in place can mar a successful confrontation.

As much as the purpose of our confrontation belies the seeming harshness and hostility it seems to present, it is not to be directed at causing chaos or breach of internal relationship between family members, friends, workers and boss-employees relationship. It must not be engineered towards causing an imbroglio of even the slightest magnitude.

The peculiarity and sensitivity of each confrontation is dependent upon the context of both the aggrieved and the ‘aggrievee’. The way you confront your boss when something goes amiss and he or she seems to be feigning crass ignorance or wants to lord it over or feels he or she can’t be looked up in the face is different from the way you confront your friend.

As much as the object thereof maintains its nobility of purpose and credibility of unambiguity, it must not have an indelible footprint of emotional hangover let alone an infinitesimal trace of bitterness that can fan the ember of disunity among an organization or in a family setting. The tactics to deploy so as not to offend each other depends on an individual.

The aftermath of a confrontation must be at our purview and foresight. The mismanagement of it can plunge one’s cordial relationship painstakingly incubated over a precious and long period of time into an abyss of irreparableness, the consequences of which may be a tag of regret for a very long time.

Let us dissect four ways by which we can stage a confrontation.

  1. Verbal confrontation. This is the use of words to right a palpable wrong implicit in an operation or way of life that we are not favorably disposed to. Verbal confrontation avails one the opportunity to get an instant feedback. It is a method most people who are as bold as a lion like to use.

  2. Action-packed confrontation. Some of us are not confident to confront others face-to-face whether due to an undue fear or owing to a weak tendency to be bamboozled into capitulation by a well-prepared recipient to an extent that we lose sight of the trajectory while the person continues the alleged misdemeanor. So instead of talking, a suitable and appropriate action is deployed, well-conceived that one notices it easily. It may tend towards stopping doing some things as against the normal routine of having to do that thing and vice versa. This is in lieu of verbal confrontation, not the best method though.

  3. Confrontation by proxy. This is the use of a delegate to confront an individual when the person seems to be irrationally recalcitrant and irrefutably condescending particularly when the person is an high-powered individual. There’s possibility he or she will not listen to your rhetoric, so you choose to send the people whom you know he revers so highly and cannot but listen to them in order to foster a continued relationship. We shouldn’t forget the main reason for confronting others; to right the wrongs inherent while the relationship stands strong.

  4. Electronics. I’m culpable of being hoodwinked by the slightest excuse that I lose sight of my purpose. What I do is to adopt the instrumentality of text messages where I will be unequivocal and unprevaricative without being strident thereby not hurting the person but nailing at precision simultaneously. And thanks to the advent of many social networks that you can use to get across to the person in question. Your message sent and delivered. You focus on the thrust of your message without losing focus of your relationship with the person.

Having given an outline on the different machineries of a successful confrontation, let us examine the ways to confront the people that surround us, using the above mechanisms bearing in mind their peculiarity and sensitivity.

Our bosses

How do we confront our bosses? How do we talk to them as their employees? They must know we are not being arrogant and disrespectful. There are 75% bosses who have the traits of an obvious supercilious affectation of superiority that they seem unapproachable. 15% are approachable and revere human dignity so high while 10% dangle between being a serpent and a dove. Whichever category your boss falls, we must know which of the above mechanisms to use. The unapproachable ones can be made to become broken and repentant by e-mailing them devoid of crudity but with an undertone of total humility and subservience to his or her authority. We can also use proxy confrontation to tackle them. If it were an organization where his or her action adversely affects everybody, proxy confrontation will be appropriate. Study your boss and know which one to use. The approachable ones may be confronted verbally while those ones who dangle can also be verbally confronted if and when he or she seems to be in a good mood.

Our parents

We confront our parents in such a way as not to lose the pocket money accruing into our account while we are still answerable to them. Having lived with them for so long a time, we know how and when to talk with them with total humility possessive of one who is unworthy to correct them. The influence of parents-children relationship can be used to let our parents know where they have erred and to know the corrective measures to adopt. I agree with the fact that some of us lived apart from our parents right from time, so we might not know what they are doing wrong. But if we begin to cultivate an intimate relationship with them, forgetting what might have transpired between you in the past that caused the separation, we will know how to intervene in their lives. It’s right about time to give back to them whether they have given to you or not. The Scriptures teaches forgiveness and returning good for evil. There are some parents who are mean, harsh and are disconnected from their children, though under the same roof, and cannot be approached. Some are so concerned about making money that they forget about their children, proxy confrontation will do. Note one thing that it takes a sane and right-minded fellow to see where others have erred bearing it in mind that we also default at times. The same way we would like others to heed our corrective moves; we also must be malleable and receptive to others’ move of correction. Don’t think you can correct someone else if you cannot be corrected and are found culpable of the same inadequacy.

Our spouses

The most sensitive relationship one will ever cultivate is the one we cultivate with our partner via marriage. This person is from a different background totally. His or her ideals and philosophy about life in general will be different from the ones you hold dear to your heart. What you discountenance, the person considers and vice versa. You sleep early in the night, she sleeps late. People tell you that you don’t snore (because you cannot know by yourself) but you found out that this person whom you are going to live with for the rest of your life (for better for worse) snores. Oh my God! You exclaimed the first time you noticed. This person is allergic to anger and rage and not short of being recalcitrant. You don’t know yourself whether you are choleric, sanguine, melancholic and the rest (though these don’t really define who you are, personal opinion). She doesn’t worry about a thing and gives no damn about anything and this gives you concern as a man. The different things that define your divergent backgrounds are inexhaustible and for you to live happily ever after there must be a reconciliation and compromise point where you fuse things together. This is when you start correcting each other using the appropriate mechanism of confrontation highlighted earlier. There’s no way you wouldn’t step on each other’s toes but how you handle the pains the toes suffer will define your co-existence. By the time you step on each other’s toes many times, you will learn how to place your steps so as not to step on the toes and how the owner of the toes will place the toes to avoid being trampled upon. It means you now understand each other better to know how to adjust for the good of both of you and you are ready for compromise.

Our employees

If it were possible to run your business all alone, you would have done so I suppose. But unfortunately, you can’t run it alone, hence the reason for you to employ labor. And you will have it at the back of your mind that the operations of the employees are not ‘Eldorado’. They can only get better in the course of honing their skills everyday. They are prone and can be predisposed to human errors by our imperfection. In the face of a grave mistake from anyone of them, how do you confront him or her so that

  • He or she will not feel repudiated and humiliated?

  • He or she will not feel to be the worse among his or her colleagues and losing his or her sense of worth?

  • He or she will clearly see where the error had occurred with a view to rectifying it with a promise not to repeat the same mistake in the future?

  • And so that you will not be dispossessed of the goodwill and dignity you have been enjoying as a boss?

  • And ultimately that the growth of your business will not be impeded?

If you don’t take the first three into consideration, kindly consider the last two. But you can’t take the last two leaving out the first three because of their interdependence. The growth and the exponential development of any business is dependent or pivoted on the workforce. Whether your business will grow or not is a function of your relationship with your staff. If the bad ones are not reciprocating your good gestures, they can be retrenched so as to avoid a contagious syndrome.

Our friends and colleagues

I nearly inadvertently ended a relationship with a friend of mine due to an enraged fury sometimes back. He is my closest friend. We had planned to attend a seminar which would be of great benefit to us both in that it will open us to an endless world of possibilities. I had gotten to his house on the appointed day and I met him unprepared. I was furious. He said he was no longer interested. On hearing that statement I started uttering all kinds of foul languages and hurling them at him. I left his house and headed in another direction instead of towards the seminar venue. But something happened to me along the road, I felt uneasy. A pang of regret engulfed my heart. I’d said what I shouldn’t. I began to palpitate and perspire so profusely. I felt I needed to apologize to him immediately. In fact, I detested myself to have claimed being a child of God and uttering repudiating remarks against a fellow human being. Then I went to a phone booth and put a call through to him. I started apologizing to him and at the same time made him realize that he predisposed me to such an extreme rage. (Though it’s not an excuse). He accepted my apology and he also apologized to have disappointed me and till today, our friendship is still as solid as the rock. We are both inextricable and not mutually exclusive. We are all imbued with a pride of not caving in to our colleagues’ advice because we think he or she cannot know better than we do. But it’s a lie. The confrontation is to make you a better person and not to make you feel less than you are worth. Your colleagues reprimand you because they love you.

(f). Our siblings. Our siblings are another category and component part of our lives that need to be confronted constructively, correctively and out of love. Compassion doesn’t really exist here. I had to call my younger brother’s attention to a misdemeanor he was gradually involving himself in. He’d stopped it before but all of a sudden he reverted to it. Somebody reported him to me but he became enraged when I confronted him with a seemingly impeccable fact. He was actually angry at the person for reporting him. Another report came in to me and I couldn’t contain it this time around. I confronted him through a text message despite the fact that we live together. The content of the message pierced into the very core of his heart like a dagger that he couldn’t sleep. I threatened to indict him for failure of compliance with my warning. He was so troubled in his spirit that he replied me expressing his dismay. When we got together, ( I’d actually called him back immediately I saw his message to iron things out bordering on what actually made me send the message but he tactically didn’t admit it in his message). I still told him the same thing. I was elated that the message touched his heart and he became penitent. We disagreed but I prevailed and our relationship as biological brothers became more cemented and communicative.

An unjustifiable fracas is bound to play out but the person will definitely peruse it over and time again and he or she will heed correction. Remember one thing; confrontation is corrective in nature.

EXCERPTS FROM INAUGURAL SPEECH OF NNAMDI AZIKIWE NOV 16 1960

It is with humility mingled with joy that I thank this grand concourse of patriots and friends of Nigeria for congregating here, today, on the occasion of my inauguration as the first African Governor-General and Commander-in-Chief of the federation of Nigeria. I was appointed to this post of high honour by her Majesty Queen Elizabeth 11, on the advice of the Prime Minister of Nigeria, to succed my predecessor in office, that accomplished colonial administrator, Sir James Robertson, G.C M.G., G.C.V.0.

This mighty audience comprises of eminent men and women drawn from all the Regions of Nigeria and different parts of Africa, the United Kingdom and the United States of America. We have in this august assemblage representatives of heads of states and governments, paramount rulers and chieftains, statesmen and politicians, nationalists and freedom fighters, university administrators and professors, trade union leaders and ex-service men, local government heads and civil servants, moulders of public opinion in addition to professional men and women in different walks of life, including a select group of invitees who represent various organizations which are interested in Africa and in the orderly progress or our country towards national autonomy….

I have gone to the length of giving this historical background because of the nature of the oaths I have taken today and because of my honest belief that the existence of a stable and constitutional government in Nigeria can become a motive power for the revival of the stature of man in Africa and an impelling force for the restoration of the dignity of man in the world…

Without respect for the rule of law permeating our political life Nigeria would degenerate into a dictatorship with its twin relatives of tyranny and despotism. I hold that the arbitrary exercise of power without the restraining influence of the rule of law must be condemned as a fundamental departure from constitutional government. Any justification of such untrammelled exercise of political power is, to me, an outrage on human conscience and a gross violation of human rights…

The sanctity of the person. the right of a person to fair and public trial, the assumption of the innocence of an accused person until he is proved guilty: these are examples of the basic human rights which feature our constitution and which I have sworn today to uphold. But there are other ancillaries to these elements of liberal democracy. I have in mind religious freedom – freedom of thought. freedom of conscience. freedom 0f worship. the independence of a responsible judiciary. which is conscious of its responsibilities in a democratic society. and the existence of an untarnishable public service whose members are appointed or promoted strictly on the merit of their qualifications and good character and not on any other extraneous criteria…

I submit that respect for human dignity is the challenge which Africa offers to the world. The lack of respect for human dignity has led to the political bondage of man by man in Africa. This act of commission has also accentuated race relations in Africa. Until the conscience of the world has been energetically aroused to solve this problem frankly with absolute honesty, it is safe to predict that the political resurgence which is now sweeping all over Africa is capable of leading to a revanche movement which would be disastrous to the peace of the world…

The challenge of Nigeria as a free State in twentieth century Africa is the need to revive the stature of man in Africa and restore the dignity ol man in the world. Nigerians believe passionately in the fundamental human rights. We regard all races of the human family as equal. Under no circumstance shall we accept the idea that the black man is inferior to any other race. No matter where’this spurious doctrine may prevail. it mav be in Lodwar or Sharpville or Decatur, we shall never admit that we are an inferior race, because if we accept the Christian or Muslim doctrine that God is perfect and that man was made in the image of God, then it would be sacrilegious, if not heretical to believe that we are an inferior race. We cannot concede that it is in our national interest to fraternise with such nations which practise race prejudice and we must not acquiesce in such an outrageous insult on the black race. In fact. we must regard it as a mark of disrespect and an unfriendly act if any country with whom we have friendly relations indulges in race prejudice in any shape or form, no matter how it may be legally cloaked.

We in Nigeria cannot reconcile with good government the imprisonment of an African who refuses to wear a badge of racial inferiority which is disguised as an identification card. We cannot see the logic of a minority group, which controls power, to subvert the ends of governnient by punishing representatives of a majority group who refuse to be discriminated or segregated against, merely on the basis of race and not necessarily on any infraction of a law which is not repugnant to natural conscience. Our people find it extremely puzzling to believe that intelligent people can be so wicked and inhuman and yet be accepted as civilised nations by the international community…

As members of a maltreated race. it would be the height of folly for us to hobnob with those who regard the members of our race as inferior. As firm believers in the principle of brotherhood of man, we should be foolish to pretend that we arc happy when the rights of our fellow human beings are wantonly trampled upon by irresponsible rulers and government agencies of undemocratic countries. Having passed through the crucible of political bondage in the furnace of colonial tutelage, how can any reasonable world statesman expect Nigerians to associate in an alliance of mutual security with countries which still regard Africa as a colonial pasture fit for safaris and cattle grazing and not for the enjoyment of basic human rights…

We are more concerned in reviving the stature of man in Africa. We have developed into a stage where we now lead the rest of Africa in the number of elementary and secondary schools and their population. We now have institutions of higher learning of university standard. About 10,000 of our sons and daughters are attending the leading universities of Europe and America. Our hospitals and health centres outnumber those of any other country in Africa. The total mileage of our tarred and untarred roads measures up with the best in Africa. Our economy is expanding in the agricultural and industrial sectors, and we arc busily engaged in stimulating investments so as to increase earning opportunities for our people and thereby increase their purchasing power and raise their living standards. Our population is highest in Africa, fourth in the Commonwealth and thirteenth in the world.

Whilst I appreciate the good intentions of these critics, I should make it clear that one important reason why human society is unstable and full of conflicting emotions is because of the tendency to intensify rivalry beyond their normal course. After all, our leaders fought the good fight with all their might because they believed in the righteousness of their causes; and history has proved them right. But they also knew that in a team of many players all cannot be elected captains since it is generally accepted that more than one captain cannot run a ship efficiently… (to be contd)