Self-acceptance

Often, it is not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.
Heath L. Buckmaster
Self-acceptance is defined as affirmation or acceptance of self in spite of weaknesses or deficiencies. It can also be said to be an acceptance of yourself as you are. It means accepting yourself the way you’re created.Although this term has been often understood in a common sense way, researchers have defined it formally in terms of positive and negative self-concepts. According to Shepard (1979), self-acceptance refers to an individual’s satisfaction or happiness with himself, and is thought to be necessary for good mental health. Self-acceptance involves self-understanding and awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses. It results in an individual’s feeling about himself that he is of “unique worth”.
Self-acceptance is considered the prerequisite for change to occur. It can be achieved by stopping criticizing yourself for the mistakes you made and the things you shouldn’t have ordinarily done but rather solving the defects of oneself, and then accepting them to be existing within oneself. That is, tolerating yourself to be imperfect in some parts. And you don’t just stop tolerating yourself the way you are, you need to do some practical and simple exercises to make yourself the ideal personality you’ve ever dreamed of.The pervading sense of not accepting yourself the way you are makes you develop inferiority complex subconsciously and immediately it sets in, the original configuration of yourself becomes subjected to some negative adjustments. The thought of discontent starts setting in you. You start nursing inordinate ambitions and desires and in the process of that, you realize that greed and selfishness set in. You were once generous, nice and hospitable but the moment you were made to undergo a reconfiguration, you’re no longer who you used to be.And why must you allow inferiority complex to set in? We all might want to give thousand excuses to justify ourselves but it’s not worth it because everything still borders on materialism. We want to have the luxury of life with all the trappings of comfort. There’s virtually nothing wrong with that. And I think if the way you are as the result of the architectural ingenuity of God is allowed to be, you’ll get to where you want at your pace and your time. If you’re not as rich and affluent as your neighbors and mates, you have committed no crime at all. If you are not as beautiful as your peers, it’s not a justifiable reason to spend a fortune on becoming beautiful artificially. Anything we do aside our original make-up has its own effects. We can only consolidate it and not change it. That your classmate is more intelligent than you are doesn’t make him or her automatic candidate for a job after school. Have you considered the fact that though he or she is more intelligent than you are, there’s something you have they don’t have? They also are wishing they have what you have.Self-acceptance is more like pursuing a noble cause but it doesn’t dwell on defects. You cannot accept yourself as a pickpocket, a cheat, an unfaithful fellow. You cannot accept yourself as an untrustworthy person, a hater, a sadist, a backbiter, a destructive critic and anything short of the quota of good attributes and sterling qualities.

ENEMIES WARRING AGAINST SELF-ACCEPTANCE
· INFERIORITY COMPLEX: An inferiority complex is a lack of self-worth, a doubt and uncertainty, and a feeling of not measuring up to society’s standards. It is often subconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extreme asocial behavior.
Inferiority complex is a feeling of not being competent in any given activity; it is a personal feeling of inadequacy arising from the overcompensation of others’ achievements/goals over yours.
Inferiority complex could also be said to be a conflict between the desire to be recognized and appreciated and the apprehension or anxiety of being humiliated. This feeling is often subconscious.

The apparent cause seems to be the fact you are inferior to others around you in a particular manner: you’re short, you’re fat, you’re bold, you’re poor, you’re less educated, etc. However, that’s not the real cause.

You see, we are all inferior to other people in some ways, and superior in others. We all have our combinations of qualities and flaws and overall we are not that different from each other. My point is that a certain flaw is not a realistically sufficient reason to have an inferiority complex.

The real cause of an inferiority complex has little to do with reality and it has a lot to do with how we process it. In order to get an inferiority of a complex, you have to dramatize in your head the meaning of a certain flaw.

You have to tell yourself that, for example, you are so short you look like a midget, that everybody is making fun of you and that this in intolerable…………. to be continued.

Author: Olajide Oluwafemi